Life is Valuable and Precious

A week ago, my boss brought his daughter in to work with him. We will call her M, she is 17 and she has cerebral palsy.  I was brought into his office to meet his daughter and to sit and talk with them.  This girl was smiling away when I came in.  She had just had a birthday so we all talked about that and that she was going out to cheesecake factory for lunch with her dad.  Then her dad went into her story, that his wifes doctor was to busy having an affair to stop her early delivery. M was born at 31 weeks, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy because of lack of air.  Another story came up of M having a spinal fusion surgery and almost loosing her from that alone. She died on the table, flat-lined and everything and they brought her back.  He dad says how she is always smiling and always happy. It makes you think about how we find stress in so many little things, how life challenges us in little ways, or how life isnt treating us right because of this or that. How is life treating M?  She is happy in her situation, but if you ask me, life gave her the short end of the straw.  After meeting her I am reminded yet again to not take life so seriously, to be happy with what God gave you/didn't give you, also to appreciate the gift of life.

Wow-ok so it has been a long time since i blogged last.  Not alot has happened-well sorta.  I had a job interview recently-yeah! But I think I slightly bombed it, sigh... I donno.  I have started/continued to work on stuff to sell in my etsy store that I have yet to set up.  I am making photo baby announcement and photo save the date cards in photoshop then plan to sell customized ones to people.  Who knows how it will go.  really like making the stuff, but alot of people sell the same thing on etsy. I plan to try an corner the market by selling em for cheaper than everyone else, but who knows.

On other news, I recently joined a new gym. It is a really great gym, but again motivation is seriously lacking and i am not sure how to keep  motivated.  I am seriously wanting to do this weight loss thing, but i am having a really hard time motivating myself...who knows.  I need to think of a good reward that will motivate me.  On the same food note I joined a 12 step program for food, called overeaters annonymous.  It bases its teaching on the 12 step program and on the foundations from AA.  I have gone to four meetings and am enjoying it.  I really realized that I am an over eater after they read step one...omg.  Ok, it was more when they read the stuff that goes along with step one.   So now i am trying to find a sponsor through the program. I also need to find/go to other meetings, our group leader/head person/whatever suggested I go to a few other meetings to make sure that the meeting was right for me.  ok, so thats enough on that...!!

Also, I finally realized/have been able to put into words to why I have been emotional about this whole baby thing.  I am mourning a loss.  A loss of mommy's nose, daddy's eyes, ect.  The loss is of having our own kiddo with features/traites that are ours.  This year has been really hard on me for this reason. I went through a breif mourning after I found out the details, but pretty much stuffed it in.  Well this year everyone who is of baby bearing age we know is preggers (ok not EVERYONE) but ALOT of people are pregnant or gave birth to a baby.  Well I broke down on the drive to one of my friends house for her shower.  It was really hard for me to be happy for her! I know that sounds selfish, but whatevs.  So I am not really looking forward to a different shower for a different girlfriend I am going to.  She is a sweet lady, and very well deserving of a child. She has gone through alot to get a healthy baby.  Ok, so enough on that!!

Goals have sorta/kinda been on the back burner. We have had the MIL over a few times for dinner, but not my parents :(  My parents are so busy it is hard to plane a dinner that works for both of us.  Also, I did goal #17-no soda for a month. but that is as long as it lasted-a month.  I need to do this again, but i like my fountain soda!!Also, I did do goal #26-go geocaching with kev. Him, I and my neice & nephew went geocaching one day-it was fun!We did get an associated bank checking account too!  I did join the womens group at church(59), The first meeting was this past tuesday, it is like 8 weeks long and we are studying the book   "the prodigal God".  The biggest "yeah" goal was #91, have the neice & nephew over for a sleep over-i got the oppertunity to do that-i was so happy!  I cant wait until their christmas break so i can hopefully have em over again!

Ok so that is about it blogy wise. Hopefully going to blog more often-but i wont promise anything!! 

Long Awaited photos

So this post is mostly about the digital scrapbooking album i made for my parents anniversary.  I omitted the last page because it had a personal letter to my parents, but you can see the rest of the pages!

Vlogging

Hey viewers-I know I havent posted in a LONG time-sorry. I promise a blog is in the works! But in the meantime some news.  So I am doing a weight loss vlogg. Each week I will weight in and discuss what is on my mind.  Check out the first one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCbnsrZPZ0A  Thanks!

Happy 4th of July Peeps!

So, here I am sitting at home blogging on America's Freedom day.  Oh well-can you say I have no life?  :)  So over this last week or two I have completed some goals!! yeah!! So two saturdays ago, Kevin and I went on a date night.  We went geocaching (#26) with the hubby. We had a couple that we wanted to find but not enough time to really look for then all.  So we went looking for two, and found one! yeah!! It actually was fun-I think if we didnt have other plans we would have done more geocaching.  That night we also went to a budget theatre by us-saw Hot Tub Time Machine. Pretty funny movie!!
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Just yesterday Kevin and I did goal #31, get a joint checking account at associated bank.  Nuff said on that one.
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The other goal I am SUPER proud of myself (and Kevin) for is going to a farmers market-and boy oh boy did we find a good one.  Ok, so I grew up in New Berlin, we never really had a farmers market-just a butt load of farm stands, so I guess I didnt know what to expect at a farmers market to some degree.  OMG!! we went to one in West Allis two saturdays ago-spent $12, got a weeks worth of veggies and some yogurt that was yummo!  So needless to say we went back this week-prices were slightly higher on some stuff, and selection changed slightly.  Only found one stand selling broccoli this week, last week almost everyone sold heads of broccoli.  The veggies were really good-I am guessing pesticides were prob used on some of it, but still the veggies are local, not from mexico and you usually are buying from the farmer themselves.
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On othr news, I have been busy with sparkpeople.com  I am a member of the site and was recently asked to be a sparkteam co-leader for a team with over 18,000 members.  I run the challenges section of the team and am really likeing it. It is keeping me motivated to stay on plan for weight loss!!

Ok, so thats about it for now - gotta go burn some calories!!

Goal completion recap - May & June

Hey so i have finally conoured many of my goals! woot woot!!  There are some goals that i have slacked on-but life happens. I am really happy at the amount of goals i have completed in the last two months!! So to start things off, I finished goal #11 - have a large picnic party with relatives family and friends.  Well we had one on the 19th of june. It was alot of work, but fun and we are planning to do it next year. We had between 25 and 30 people at the party. We had his family represented quite well by relatives and mine was represented only by my sister and her fam. Ah well- I will remember that next time relatives of mine... We also had BUTT LOADS of food-omg next year i am not going to buy as much food seriously.  We provided the meat (beer brats and hamburgers)  I also made a grape salad and did a veggie platter and made some cupcakes. Everyone that came brought something to pass.  I am so going to only count 1 and a quarter brats at most per person next year-holy crap way to many brats and burgers left over.  Also-Kevin's dad brought ALOT of food, some awesome chinese pulled pork, some salsa and some desserts.  So with everyone bringing food to pass and the stuff we made we had huge amounts of food.  I had alot of fun chit chatting with everyone-showing off the house and playing games. We set up croquet, ladderball and had a frisbee and sidewalk chalk.  It was fun, and there was no histerics wich was also VERY good-i was most concerned about that.  Also technically I could include goal #10  - Have people from church over. But I am not.  I invited three familys from our church to the party, out of those three only one couple ended up being able to come-it was our pastor and his wife.  It was nice that they came-they got to see our house and chit chat with our friends. They had an interesting convo about godparents and the catholic faith with another couple who is our friends.  So since it was only them, I dont think I will be counting that as a completed goal.  Some photos from the event follow!

So, another goal that i completed in the last two months is #18 finish and get printed a digital scrapbook.  I finished it yeah!! I made a digitalscrapbook for my parents anniversary. I will post pictures of that-just not today. I have jpegs of the pages, i just need to combine them into one image.  Soo-you'll have to wait on that one!!

We all know that we went to the shedd and to museum of science & industry over our anniversary. That was early in may. They were goal #34 & #35.

Also in prep for our big party I completed goal #45 & #46. Clean and organize closet in basement & clean and organize basement.  Now my basement looks pretty!! well sorta-it is a basement after all!!

I also did #90 - Write "the letter." It was not as elaborate or as indepth as i had imagined it to be. She called and we talked a little. She interpreted something I had saaid on FB was about her, I explained we talked a little more. It was good. Thats all.  

So other than these I havent really worked on many goals. I am working on the no soda thing tho-I am 3 weeks in and feeling good! I have been tempted alot lately but i have avoided my temptation with some luck!!

A long ass blog!!

So here I am, falling behind on my goals but still attempting them.  This isnt the reason for todays blog.  I feel just so out of it, frustrated and alot like a failure, and really need to flesh it out-so sorry peeps!  I have struggled with my weight since I was born practically.  I have medical issues that have held me back in different ways at different times.  And currently I dont have a job. I quite my job a year ago, I worked for my dad and it just got to be to much of an emotional drain for me.  My sister also worked there-and we have never gotten along.  It was an issue of never really having a set list of this is what you do at your job. Yes there was billing and ebay, but beyond that it was whatever they had for me whether it was inventory counting, shipping, light repetitive menufacturing (making ditty bags or two ball and tee packs) or just cleaning.  And it really got frustrating to be treated as lowest man on the totem pole, even though I wasnt the newest employee.  So needless to say, I know my dad was helping me by giving me a job, but I quit.  And looking back, I really am happy about my choice.  But a year has passed, I feel so bad that I am not helping to keep the house afloat.  But I really enjoy my time at home and sometimes wish I could be a stay at home wife (cook/clean/whatever). Pretty much that is what I do now. I dont know, I am sick of  really hearing about money and how if we had x we can do y.  This last month was hard on me guilt wise about money.  We have a large medical bill, a large dental bill, and our regular expenses.

So also I have really struggled with my weight and weight loss my whole life. I have had highs and lows of weight happyness, and really until I started this list I was more on the happier side of weight happyness.  I have delt with parents getting mad at me for eating sweets from their stash, my dad bribeing me to loose weight and my parents telling me how i need to watch what i am eating cuz diabetes runs in the family.  Seriously-shut up, dont you think I think about this myself enough?  Help me/support me-dont just tell me what i need to do. I am just really frustrated about my weight. I know I have to do it, and I have to choose to do it, but i know i really need support to stay on track, and hubby isnt that good when it comes to diet support-he tells me what i want to hear-not what i need to hear.  I know he loves me for who I am, but would like me to loose weight. It is just so hard to stay motivated on my own.  But I am going to try something new - not beating my self up and changing how I think. I am "trying" to get rid of the word diet from my vocabulary and change it with lifestyle change.  As a part of my lifestyle change I am going to only tackle one or two change per month.  Once it becomes habit or at least stuck to and scheduled, I will add a new lifestyle change goal.  So far I have crossed water drinking off my list of lifestyle goals as I regularly drink 2-3 liters a day.  As of tommorow a new lifestyle goal will be added.  I have dabbled in the arena before, but never really stuck to it.  A biggie goal on my 101 in 1001 is to walk a half marathon. Well officially I start training tommorow with Kevin. He has decided to join me. I asked him though that if he says yes-he needs to not say oh im tired on a day or something, he has to stick with it so i can stick with it.  I am a little nervous and excited at the same time.  It will be something for kevin and I to do together that is free and might help us connect a little more.  I am nervous because I hurt my back the weekend of our trip (clutzo me) and it still bothers me a bit, but i am sure excersize in the long run will be good.  So after I have successfuly integrated excersize into my routine I plan to adjust how i eat, now granted I am not going to go all out now, but I will have mini goals that go along with eating change.  Another goal that i have in terms of lifestyle changes, I have decided this month would be a good month to give up soda.  We are only one week into the month but i am doing good!! No soda for me!! I am very tempted though! We recently bought a bunch of two liter bottles of soda for the party and they are still sitting in the family room... So they are tempting but I will be ok-I think!! 

So in other goals, I finished a bigg ass digital scrapbook!!! woot woot!!  It is for an anniversary for someone I love. I promise to put a picture or two up here of the pages.  I did finish another book-I know rare right?? It was the rosie odonnel book "celebrity detox" good book!  Now I am reading "The Increadable Henry House"  I am really diggin the book-check it out if you like reading about the 40's and 50's. Um, other than that I havent done many of the goals, but i have another year and a half!! :p!  Ok peace out peeps!  Gotta go swish & swipe my bathroom!!

Procrastination!!

Oh man-ok so I have come to realize that I procrastinate big projects...  So here I am, four days away from needing to get my photo book turned in to blurb to redeem a coupon and to get said book done before the anniversary.  I have 5 pages done... yes I know sad but true.  I think for a while I was trying to decide if I wanted the professional black and white or if I wanted to use digi scrap stuff. Well I have decided to use the professional look.  I am almost done with another page-so we will see, I gotta get my butt moving on it! Oh-hubbys home GTG make food.  I have a blog planned for later-maybe after I finish the book.  It will be about happyness and how some people think just cause you are not fit you arnt happy.   Ok later y'all!

Goal #72 - Create a House cleaning schedule

Ok, so I am going to start by saying I HATE HOUSE CLEANING. I hate it with a passion. I think it has to do with that my mother is a house cleaning freak and lots of times growing up she would ask me to help and I wouldnt do it to her satisfaction and we would argue.  So I think that is why I hate cleaning-not totally sure-maybe I am just naturally a slob!  My roomates in college would deffinatly call me the later!! So I have checked out a website in the past and attempted to stick to the routines with little to no luck.  Well this time I also purchased a daily calendar thing.  The website is called FlyLady.com.  It helps you build a control journal for tasks to do on a daily basis and build a habit to it.  They also have weekly zones for deeper cleaning - but each task on a given day should only take you fifteen minutes.  So really each day I only pick up/clean whatever for like an hour total.  An example of my schedule is
Monday: My Errand Day
-Go to Library - return books
-Go to Grocery Store
-Decide what to make for wednesday Potluck
-Declutter for 15 Min.
-2min. in Hot spots
-Clean off hot spots in back of tub
-Swish & Swipe
So that is monday, some days have more-some have less.  Tuesdays and thursdays are my home blessing hour-I seperate otherwise I would get frustrated.  So I use my daily calender to write down what I have to do for the day, and cross off as I go. I was never a list maker-but I am liking how it is working out. I also get daily emails from Flylady.com to keep me on schedule.  So other than this I have been busy working on the photobook.  Also getting everything in order for our party next month.  So I have been busy!

3 Birds one stone and my anniversary!!

So, my third wedding anniversary has come and gone. It was May 5th, but it totally didnt start off on the right foot. OMG, the weekend will be most memorable because of all the issues that arose!!  So I figure I might as write this since I am certain it will come out at some point otherwise.  So if we look at our calender's may 5th was a wednesday.  It was originally supposed to be nothing super big since we planned to go to chi town for the weekend.  Well wednesday I got sick, like vomiting sick.  So, needless to say I ended up sleeping and vomiting all day-fun huh?  So by the time Kevin came home I was quite out of it, due to dehydration and adrenal crisis. Kevin wanted to take me to the hospital-I didnt want to go.  So after calling my parents to see what he should do, Kevin took me to the emergency room.  Also my mother met us there.  So, due to having sucky deep veins and dehydration, the only vein they could access-after 6 attemptes mind you - they got a vein in my thumb.  Then they pumped with fluids and solucortef and about three hours later they wanted to find a bigger vein. So they put a central line thingy in my neck-yeah fun  not.  So after getting but loads of tests done they moved me into the ICU overnight. They were concerned with my low bp (lowest was about 74/50) and my high heart rate-about 120 at it's highest.  The bp and hr were both caused by severe dehydration.  So after spending a night and most of a day in ICU, I got transfered to a regular room for another night and part of day.  I was ready to leave the hospital by the time I got transfered to a regular room, but they wanted to monitor me for another day.  I was super eager to get out especially that last day in the regular room.  We had planned to leave early for chicago that day.  But didnt leave until just after rush hour.  So I got released from the hospital friday afternoon-like 3ish we went home packed real fast and got on the road.  So friday night we kinda just chilled-we went to an awesome restaraunt.  It was called Miller's ale house-I think it was in oak terrace.  Really good food.  They even had fried clams!!  So cool.  Also kevin and I got a fish fry that was good as well-a little rich and over fried, but good.  So that night we came back to the hotel and slept. Got up early the next day and went to the museum of science and industry-so cool i must say!!  Very awesome exibits and stuff.  So we were half way through and went to go and sit at a mini computerized exibit that was about the earth-a big computerized globe in the middle.  Well there is like two steps up and then a row of chairs.  Well the exibit ended and we were getting up to leave and clutzo me didnt remeber or pay attention to the steps and tripped somehow and fell.  All I could think about for a minute was omg-I look like an idiot!!  But I must say, museum of S & I was VERY responsive-within a few seconds of falling they asked if I wanted an ambulance-I said no. No way in hell was I going back to a hospital!!  So in the end I beleive I pulled a muscle in my foot and two muscles in my back.  I have been taking pain meds and iced it a few times the first day or so.  Kevin and I continued through the m of s&i and I still had a good time even though my back was killing me and I had to walk funny cuz my foot hurt.  So that night we went back to the hotel and kevin got sick.  He was vomiting a few times. I kept him hydrated though.  I let him sleep it off for a few hours then we went out so I could get some grub and we went to walgreens again.  He ended up really just eating to much greasy food i think.  He still wasnt 100% the next morning, but good enough to go to the Shedd aquarium.  I loved it-I love the fish stuff! LOL!! We also went to the Field museum wich was just eh in my opinion. Kevin liked it-he liked the dino stuff.   So we wanted to see the adler as well, but we were to tired so we drove home.  We stopped at the bridge oasis thingy. I wanted a munchy for the drive and kevin was hungry as well.  So that was my three birds with one stone. We celebrated our anniversary (#1), Completed goal #34 go to museum of science & industry (#2) and goal #35 go to shedd aquarium.  Other than that not many goals have been worked on.  I want to start reading agin, but I am still so busy with my photo projects.  I finally finished the invites for the party and finally sent them out-thank God it is done!! Now I am just searching through my photos to make sure I scanned all the ones I need. I am also going through my previously scanned photos and cropping them down.  I have completed about four pages of the book, so we will see. I gotta finish by June 1, so I can send it off to blurb. 
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I am thankful for my husband and his concern he showed towards me. It is nice to have someone other than your parents concerned/thinking about you. 

And The Adventure Continues!!

So my week so far has been good.  Got my invites done for the party-I'll put some pics up later of them.  I am also done scanning all my parents paper photos! woohoo on that on!!  No more sneaking around to take photos and bring them back while my parents are on vacation.  I have also started stuff for selling on etsy. I have some photo cards made, and i made a few sets of decopage (sp) clippys!  I'll let y'all know when the store is up and running.  A big project i have to start is a photo book that I need to finish by early june so i can get it made up.
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On the vegan/vegetarian food eating front, I have borrowed a few books from the library that look very promiseing.  I am starting as of today to try a week eating vegetarian/vegan.  I tryed a while back i know...hopefully this time it will be better.  My reasons for choosing to do this is because of the animal cruelty fact and really that meat is really not that totally healthy for you.  Also, this will not be a "new" "diet" or something. I will be writting what I eat still, and staying within a lower calorie guideline.  Also am going to restart(I know...we wont go there) the walking program. I really actually enjoyed walking and haveing some me time.  When I started the walking originally I TOTALLY dreaded it!  I remember walking with my mom when I was younger and always upset that I couldnt keep up with her!  I do not have timeing goals with the walking - just completed or not completed.  I am gonna start small again since I havent walked in about a month(yes  yess - hush now I know I have strayed!) 
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So I have been totally researching the whole vegetarian/vegan thing to get myself prepared. I am also following QUITE a few veg blogs.  One of the blogs directed me to a documentary film about animal cruelty. It was NOT produced by PETA-wich was good in my book since peta is a hypocritical orginazation. If you dont know what I'm talking about google em.  The documentary is called Earthlings. It is about all the aspects of animal cruelty, very very interesting. I say watch it!!  Although-dont eat aroung the time you watch it-you may loose your lunch!  Also not children friendly at all.  But very informative for the average consumer.  Another warning-it has been called "The vegan maker" movie.  So link is provided to site. On the top there is a thing that says watch movie. you can actually watch a low quality version on line.  Again-very worth the hour and a half of you time it will take to watch!! http://www.earthlings.com/
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Not much else really going on.  Planning to blog about my week eating veg.  I started out today with a vegan oatmeal raison cookie panuffin-yummo!  comment if ya want the recipe!!

Ahh... I am relaxed and Rejuvinated...and I have alot on my mind at the same time...

So, today I got back from an awesome women's retreat!! I liked the previous years retreats, but for some reason I really really enjoyed myself.  I got to see a good ole friend of mine. I went to HS with this girl, and she has recently (within the last two years) turned her life to Christ. I don't have many friends at all and often dont see them as often as I'd like, so it was really nice to spend a small part of the weekend with her, and giggle like how we used to.  Also, we had a great speaker! We studyed the story of Joseph, his teen years, his 30's and later. It was good.  The part that really "hit me" was when we talked about the waiting rooms in our life. I totally feel that way... Again, yes I'm going there, so leave now if you dont want to read!  I feel at a total crossroads right now. I guess I dont know how to put it.  God has a plan laid out for us all, whether we know it yet or not.  I feel that we (I) am in the waiting room of "here I am Lord, I'm married, now what? Where are the kids that we are wanting?"  Waiting for the path to be laid out.  I really struggle with that, and have been since EVERYONE (ok well maybe about 6 people) we know are either pregnant, had a baby recently, or are thinking they could be preg. since they havent had a period in XYZ days. (sorry if that is tmi for some!)  I know this is a test from God, but seriously-does it have to be this hard? Well ok, guess that went better than I thought it would be.  A good thing out of this whole weekend, is Kevin and I talked and he knows how my heart is and how I am feeling about all this.  Also, in case any one doesnt know, he doesnt really truly believe in God, he goes to church, but that is it!  So I got motivated from my good friend I had at the retreat, to start a go through the bible in a year plan thing. Kevin is gonna do it to!! yeah!! I am happy.
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Ok, so on to other things, the diet has been WAY on the back burner...I know I know...   I plan to for sure start back up on monday. I was really hit in the face again today as why I need to loose weight, I am out of breath after walking up a flight and a half of stairs-seriously... sad...   I know how I got off track, so it wont be to hard to get back on track. But sticking to it...thats were I fail...alot. 
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I have alot of "goals" for this coming week.  I am gonna finish my invites for a party we are gonna have mid june. I made them on photoshop with digiscrap elements and am getting them printed in photo format.  Also, I am very serious on making photo cards to sell on etsy.  I am not expecting to make alot of money, but I really enjoy taking photos with my SLR, and want others to experience my view through the lens in a card they can mail to a friend.  Oh yes, and working on the diet. Those are the main goals for the week.   Oh also, one HUGE goal was completed!! woot!! I finished scanning all of my parents paper photos!! woo hoo!!   ok night all!!

Bibile passage mentioned yesterday

Hey folks-just a super quick post about the bible reference mentioned last night regarding our current church.  Check out the verse for your self.  If you have questions let me know!

Hebrews 5:11-14
Warning Against Falling Away


11We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
 
Ok thats it for tonight!

Pupusa's, Panuffins and more!!

Well if that title doesnt get you intrigued, I dont know what will!!  I cant believe it has been a week and a half since I last posted-seriously slackin!! So needless to say I have been somewhat busy working on my goals.  I have arranged all my digiscrap crap so I can find files super easy now. Also chose photos for the book.  Now both of these projects have semi similar due dates. I want to get the party invite done SOON!  I want to send them out the first week in may.  The photo book surprise needs to be done by the first of june so I can send it in to Blurb.com and get it made.  So I am busy. Also I have borrewed A LOT of cooking books from two local librarys (6 books) for vegetarian dishes.  I am so serious about eating in a more vegetarian way, but i know there will be times when meat is what I will crave. So I am going to be more of a flexitarian than a vegetarian.
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So what is a pupusa you ask?? Well it is a cheese filled pocket thingy. the pocket or dough is made from mesa - the same thing corn tortilla's are made from. These are a staple food item in El Salvador.  So I got really interested in these from a food network show.  Since I dont know of any El Savadorian restaurants by us, I chose to make my own.  I found a recipie onlone, got my mesa and made em.  I failed...  Well sorta.  I cant do the cool hand flipping thing, so i had to improvise by press with hand then flip, then press and flip again until i had a decent size.  I put some shredded cheese in it and then repatted it out and cooked em in a very little bit of oil.  Well they cooked up somewhat fast. Kevin and I devoured them and my reveiw is just meh.  I am not a corn tortilla lover, so thusly thought it was a little to corn tortillay!  Also needed more cheese somehow.  Probably will make it again, but add beef and maybe seasoning or something-who knows!!  Here are pictures of the pupusa's. 

Pupusa before Cooking.                      Pupusa's after cooking.

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So now that I explained one weird word, lemme explain what panuffins are!  It is a made up word. A mix between pancake and muffin.  Some people call it a pizzert.  Mix between pizza and dessert.  But seriously -this is one great breakfast treat. Easy to do and quick cooking!  And-this is a totally vegetarian item!! Woohoo! I even topped it with vegan buttery spread. (a margerine like spread made from vegetable oils and soy.  Earth Balance is the name. It is actually pretty good - a little salty tasteing for me, but good.  Also has non hydrodgenated oils in it.)  I made a blueberry muffin panuffin, but plan to make a cinnamon roll version soon!!  Here is a picture!    The recipie was quit simple and ingredients easy to get.  The reason I named it a panuffin is because the recipie makes enough for two serving. You can put in a muffin tin or put it in a cake pan. When you do that it will look like a pancake.  I will update with a recipie for this tommorow!! Enjoy the pictures for now!

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So some other things that I am going to talk about is how I have been trying to live a greener lifestyle. I am saddened by all the plastic that has ended up in the ocean.  Talking about plastic brings me to my topic. Is Seventh Generation really that "Green"?  My opinion-heck no.  Their products still have a large enough footprint.  Yes there products are environmentally friendly and dont have toxic chemicals in them.  But what are they packaged in? PLASTIC! Yes it may be something like 75% Post Consumer recycled plastic, but still it is gonna end up in the ocean.  Also, they are supposidly so green, why the hooey do they sell DISPOSABLE PLASTIC DIAPERS??      Hello-pollutent or what.  It is said that 92% of all disposable diapers end up in the lanfill.  Most people do not properly empty the poo out of the dipers, so you have a landfill with millions of diapers with poo in them-lovely huh??  Also Seventh Generation uses a chemical in the diapers that is rather toxic, but then again all diaper makers in the us put this chemical in.  There are SOO many alternatives to plastic and to disposable one time use everything.   I have never been so concerned with the environment until the last few years.  I urge you to watch this youtube movie. Please inform yourself!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLrVCI4N67M&feature=related  Ok so that is hopefully the end of that rant!! lol!!  On a note about us and recycleing, we try to recycle everything we can, but we still buy things made of plastic because of its at the moment convenience.  But I try. If our condo would allow it I would probably have a small countertop style compost bin. But alas our condo board is not as environmentally friendly. But talking about the board is a whole other topic for a different day.

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So I mentioned on FB that I found a new church!! Kevin isnt sure what he believes so I am usually the church finder goer person. He does come with, but if he was able to stay home and play WoW instead, he wouldnt go.  So anyhow Kev and I started going to Crossroads about four years ago. We got married there as well.  It is a wonderful family of people. They really are great. But the service feels like baby food.  I dont know how to explain it better. There is a verse in the bible about new beleivers and not being able to live on baby food forever, and you need to eat meat and potatoes.  Another explanation, I feel very much like I do at catholic services. Repitition, repitition, repitition. I guess my explanations suck! lol! Also it is hard because we live further away than we did when we originally started going.  So I looked up on the web non denominational churches in the oak creek area. And found a smallish church pretty close to us called Harvest Community Church. It Rawks!! OMG!! I love the P&W time!  Songs I havent heard before, but pull at your heartstrings.  THe message was very relatable and totally not fill in the blank like crossroads is.  I used to go to a church similar to Harvest and really liked it.  Also I love that Harvest is big enough to 1) Have three services, one saturday night and two on sunday, and 2) to have many small groups to choose from. I love small groups. Harvest has a young couples type group-wich is totally cool.   I am sad that we will be leaving crossroads within this year, but I am excited for what my future with Christ and this new church.  I want to slowly fase out of crossroads.  But it will be hard I know.  I will miss many of the people when we do eventually leave.  Alot to think about.  Ok well I better go!  Got to go to Crossroads tommorow morning early!! We have AV duty!!   Tommorow is WI, so I will be posting a blog regarding my weight loss over the past few weeks!!  Night y'all!!

Mid Week Check in & a recipie!

Hey y'all, just here to write a quickie.  Havent had much going on around here since easter.  My food eating/excersizing hasnt really picked up-still have a head cold and hacking away every few minutes-yeah...!  So on my two biggie goals that I have been wanting/needing to work on, I sorta have. I have been working on preliminary stuff, organizing my digiscrap files, and just general computer decluttering. I have been on the look out for really good cook out graphics that would work.  I still have to filter through my scanned photos and decide wich ones to use for the book, and I have to scan more photos. I am going to sneak over there late this week and grab another paper size box. My mom will be out of town and my dad wont know better - he isnt as anal about the photos as my mom is!! lol!! 
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On a different front I baked/cooked something new! lol! I made whole wheat flatbread like things.  I altered a recipie that called for whole wheat and white flour.  I put in regular whole wheat flour and whole wheat pastry flour (finer ground) and water of course. It was good, a little tedious.  Also they were a bit bland, would possible add spices or garlic or something next time. but they are good sammie flatbreads. 
Recipie is
-1.5C Whole wheat pastry flour
-1.5C Regular whole wheat flour
-pinch of salt
-1.25C water

Add water to flour and salt mixture.  Mix with a spoon or spatula until loosly combined. then use your hands to combine thoroughly.  Knead dough for a few minutes. Cut dou into 16 equal peices. Form each peice into a ball, then flatten by rolling or with your hands.  should be a thing round when done rolling/forming.  Place one at a time in a heated skillet on high  heat.  Once in pan peirce a few times with fork. Keep in pan for a few minutes per side.  They should appear light brown with specks of brown /black when done. Flip and cook for a few more minutes.  Do this with all peices. Enjoy!!

So yesterday I had a PB and banana sammie on the flatbread.  I like em. I entended to make them for a chicken taco like thing, but we ended up going out last night so later this week we will make em! thats it for today!!
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Today I am thankful that I am learning how to eat good foods for really a first time in my life.  I have been on ww-but i always resorted to processed foods that were within points that i could eat.  Now I am really reading labels and seeing if the light version is really better than the regular version. 

Mondays Blog

So I started to post a blog yesterday, but got involved with something, so i forgot to finish! lol!!  So here I am today finally bloggin. So this week, i forgot to weight my self. I was busy, we had the mil sleeping over on saturday, went to church early sunday and then all day at my parents for easter celebrations.  So havent done it yet, also forgot this morning. So hopefully I will remember to weight myself tommorow morning and then i'll record it.  My week diet wise has been a little off, we (kevin & I) have been sick with fairly bad head & chest colds that we think we got from someone at my nephews birthday party.  But i also havent gone overboard food wise-i have just kinda reverted back to my old ways of not eating enough food.  I naturally am not as hungry as most people/dont eat as much as most people.  We did go out for dinner a couple times like I stated last post, but really the only sit down was thursday with mil. It was a greek place and I had one cabbage roll and mashed potatoes and cheesecake dessert.  The rest of the times we went out to eat was to cousins or subway for a sub, wich isnt  super great, but better than a burger place or sit down place most likely.  Also I havent done any additional walking this week-well i did my walk on monday and tuesday last week i think. But other than that nothing excersize wise-grr.  Hopefully I will feel better soon and start walking again, even if it is just a mile at one time. Something is better than nothing excersize wise.
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So goals that were accomplished (yeah!) are taking a roll of film on slr camera a month.  I was A BIT late on taking the photos-oops!!  I finished the roll today. Took some leave bud photos and some cherry blossom bud photos.  Spring is so beautiful, especially with the budding of leaves and flowers.  Going to get them developed sometime this week. I know I still have to scan and upload feb photos, and now adding march to that.  Cant wait for the buds to bloom!!  Also working on the creating a garden in my grandma's name-i think that is a goal of mine??!  I am not going to do flowers at all this year-especially after the bees and all last year.  So it will be all veggies this year! I have started the germination process for seeds. It is giving my brown thumb a bit of a helping hand.  When I plant em, they will have already sprouted and will take easier to planting!  Other than that goals are not going as fast as Id like, Still &#%*^@$ reading book four on my list- i just havent set time asside to read it. I am half way done with it, but still havent finished-grr!   I really want to work on my vegan meals/no white sugar/no refined flour, but it is really hard because i dont know were to turn for affordable alternatives.  I have wheat flour, but still there are alot of gf alternatives I want to try.  I really want to make a go at being vegetarian for more than a day, but again hard for me to do.    I really think eliminating meat is important with loosing weight, but do to my raising it is hard for me to like meat alternatives.  If I did turn vegetarian it would most likely be lacto/ovo vegetarian.  (eat milk prod. & eggs).  I just am not sure where to turn for resources for it, and I have gone to many veg sites.  Oh well, if it is meant to happen it will. 
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So, thats about it for tonight.  I am starting to work on a biggish graphic project (making our own cook out invites) and then I will also be working an a very big (in my opinion) photo book project for a family members anniversary.  I hope to accomplish work on these goals this week!  
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Tongiht I am thankful that Tylenol Cold was invented! It has helped tons with my cold.  Also thankful for my husband. Thankful that he isnt pressuring me into getting whatever job possible to help us financially.  I am also really thankful for my church family and power of prayer. 

Week 3 on plan

So week three on my eating plan is coming to a close. I am not sure if i will loose or gain this week. I have been sick with a head cold since tuesday, so I havent gotten much excersize in this week.  Also, havent eaten totally good. We have gone out for food the last few days. The only bad day going out wise was thursday.  I had cabbage rolls with mashed potatoes at a local greek restaraunt.  So alot of meat and starch.  So hopefully next week is better.
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On other news, Kevin and I did AV at church tonight for good friday. A really good service.  The mood was somewhat intamite, quiet, calm. The lights were set low, music was good, and message was good.  Also they had a nailing your sins to the cross segment-pretty cool.  Also had the Lord's supper. Altogether a good service.    So, it's friday, but sunday is a comin!  Watch the video peeps!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naajYZSbWdw

Also another super cool vid of a skit based on Lifehouse Everything song. Very cool!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA 
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on other news, not much is happening goal wise :(  I still havent finished book four-grr!  I did get some postcards from postcrossing this week. Plan to send more this coming week.
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Easter weekend plans are going to be busy!  We are having Kevin's mom sleep over on saturday, she will come to church with us on sunday then go with us to my parents house for a fun day of festivities!! woohoo!!  I just hope she doesnt talk about us seeing the repro endo-my parents dont know we went to see the doc.  So, also on that note this week I have been alot better stress and emotionally about the whole deal.  It is still hard to see/hear people talking about their babys or pregnancys.  Oh well I am sure that will pass in time.  So we plan to start pursueing adoption, but I think we still need to inform my parents of our planes for the future.   So I hope every one has a safe and happy easter! 
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Thankful item:  I am thankful that I got to spend time shopping for myself today!!

Vlog regarding thursday thoughts and weigh in day!

Vlogs I made instead of blogs!  It is two parts, about 14 minutes total. Check it out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSf4ygp_aWc

My day

So ok, I am more relaxed and at ease to write this whole shebang down about what happened today.  To start off I have been SOO nervous of the doctor saying, well we cant do anything in your situation, or you need to loose X before we can treat you.  Well needles to say, neither happened-thank God. I was figureing it would be pricey, but not as crazy pricey as it is/was.  So upfront we had to pay 325 for a new patient consult, this was semi ok. We have an HSA, so insurance adjusts how much we have to pay, then we pay the balnce on our HSA debit card thingy.  All was ok at this point, then we were given an outline of costs, now generaly our insurance covered testing, and some consult fees, but no treatment fees were covered at all. It is that was with most of wisconsin patients apperantly.  Ok, so the low down on fees are this: Male testing required fees before insurance coverage is like $600 bucks, that is covered. The female tests would be like $2400 bucks. yeech!  So if we were to go through with it or deductable would have come and gone-fast!!  The actual prepossed treatment would be $4600 -$5100 PER MONTH!!! Seriously. My Goodness.  So um, yeah it was pretty much out of the question. The cost is IUI treatment and meds-but still seriously, oh my gosh! Even if I did have a job, and made the same amount as Kevin, we still would not be able to afford it. Jeez, you have to be a lawyer or doctor just to afford it-or government worker...
 So after we got out of the appointment I started tearing up. Why do my emotions come out at the most inappropriate times.  So by the time we were about to walk past the bathrooms, I had to dash in and try to get control of myself, wich temporarily worked. I got to my car, kissed the hubbs and started to cry in the car.  I guess in a way I didnt know why I was reacting this way, but at the same way I do. Kevin phrased it exactly right "my hopes were dashed" and that is true. It is something every couple wants-to have a child of their own flesh and blood.  Now dont get me wrong, adoption is great but it is different.  
So today I fell apart, and kinda discovered something about my self at the same time.  I never thought I was an emotional eater, but after today I seriously think I am.  This afternoon I took a drive (my way of relaxing) and picked up some water and peanut butter M&Ms. Yeah... Oh well Now I know, and I will try to have like granola bars or something on hand in my car.   so Annonymus-here it is-the blog you wanted!! :p  

So other than that, goals AGAIN have kinda been on the back burner. grr.  I still havent finished book #4, havent done anymore knitting, or anything really on my list. I need to focus on it more huh??!  But i did finish a personal goal yesterday. It was not one of my 101 in 1001 goals, but a goal I have had for a while.  The goal was to walk a consecuative 3 miles. I did it!! I was super happy yesterday. Now I am gonna work up to four miles.  I "may" enter a 5k walk run thing in may or june. I am not gonna run it, id be a walker wich i am totally cool with.  I have put my c25k training on hold until I loose more weight, I havent been able to control my breathing for the run I did. I felt like I was gasping for air. But I am fine air wise when I am walking, yes I breathe a bit heavier after a mile or two, but I can still breathe full breaths!   So today, other than gorgeing on food (I also had a cheeseburger at MCD) I also did not get any excersize in. But I will tomorow, hopefully it isnt as cold as it is today.brr.  Good night!!
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I am thankful that I able to recognize and admit when I have failed myself! 

S a w e e t!!

So, today I did it!! Yes indeedy do! I finally did a 3 miler!! All in one trip to!  My feet were pretty tired afterwards. I got another blister, and of course i popped it. Dumb me. So my foot is stingy feeling when i walk.  I have it gaused and taped up, so we will see how it is tommorow.  So the food plan is going pretty good, even though i have eatten out at subway a few times this week.  I have written it all down at least, wich is an accomplishment. Ok so i cant think anymore, hubby and his brother are watching ledgend of the seeker.