Fridays post

So tady was ok on my end. Had to run some errands, went to go pick up my developed roll of film from walgreens, little did i realize I shot a roll of B&W. So all my beaustiful sunshine pics dont look that great in B&W. Ah well, plan to scan them and put em on flickr. So tonight, again I took a picture of the day, but it is still on my phone-will post tommorow.  The pic is of the damn geese that seem to flock to our neighborhood and take forever to move off the road!  So not much else is going on, I started a little journel about what I eat and how I feel about what I eat, not sure if i can stick to it!  Also received a note from the lady I made an appoinment with for at the end of the month. The letter discussed how long the appointment is, and discussed what they plan to do during the initial appointment.  There is like three parts, the nurse will show us around the clinic facility, then we will meet with an insurance expert to find out what our insurance will cover-though we pretty much know what they will/wont cover. Then we sit with the doc & nurse to discuss our options.  I am getting stressed about this, but i hope it turns out ok.  Well that is about it for tonight, oh the hubby had a friend over and I pretty much shot my diet plans out the window with tonights meal! We had pizza, garlic bread and I made a chocolate cake, so a kazillion calories there...ugh...  Ok for real I am done now!!
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TOnight I am thankful for my car, I love to drive and driving really eases my stress. After I get in an argument or similar situation, all i want to do is drive around. ALso thankfull that my car is still running, we had issues with the subby a year or two ago, Kevin did major surgery on it. Headgasket repair, and coolant system redo.

tonights post

Ok so again, really nothing to talk about. Got a call from my endo about my labs coming back as my synthroid level was slightly high. I am not a perfect pill taker, most likely I accidentally double dosed, and thusly made my readings high. I am rather petrified to call her assistant back and tell her this and find out if the other test result was good or bad. I wish doctor's had public emails, OMG I totally would rather email her than talk to her on the phone. Seriously-sometimes my phone phobia comes back strong.  This time it is different than when I was a kid. When I was a kid, I was petrified to call people, because i was affraid that they would not remember me. Now I am petrified to call my doctor, because I dont want to get scolded like a little kid.  Oh also I joined sparkpeople.com  I really need the ambition to do the whole weight loss thing. I really want to be healthy, happy and fit. I never was, and I doubt i ever will be.  I am the type of person that i need to see results right away to stay motivated.  Sorry i am ranting about weight again, I guess i need to figure out how to talk about something other than that.  Today was a kinda blah day. Kevin and I talked, and he seemed to finally realize what i was trying to tell him about the cost of the whole fertility treatment probability. Is thinking about adoption, but that is just as bad cost wise, and Kevin is to picky on what type of child he would want. Ah well, one more month and we will see what my options really are.  Today I am thankfull for my husband. We went on a mini date. We went to TGI fridays for food, and since then I have been in a pretty bumming mood.  Ah well, tommorow I will post todays photo. It is of my knitting. I started a non scarf project, but really it is a basic scarf on drugs!! lol! it is a basic stocking knit baby blanket. It may be given away to friend or family who are expecting, but i may just hold on to it.  Ok good nite-my laptop battery is about to die!

Insomnia

Sometimes I suffer from insomnia, or my body just doesnt know when to go to sleep. Well last night was my latest episode of this. We went to bed late last night, well I just couldn't fall asleep, to msny thoughts in my head or whatever. So I ended up staying up till 3:30 reading. So of course I ended up finishing the book i had started like a day or two ago. It was a fast read-very fast actually.The book is 219 pages, but the spacing of the type made it a fast read.  It was a decent book, kinda interesting if you ever were a fan of Rosie. It did jump around for the first quarter or so of the book, which was kinda annoying. Ah well, it is a good enough read to recommend it to people.  So after I went to bed so late, some how this morning I was WIDE awake at 7:45, super crazy. W will see how today goes.

Another one bites the dust...

Another goal bites the dust.  Wahoo! Today I completed two goals actually! I finally went to the damn DMV to get my address changed on my licence. I figure since its been a year might as well do it! Well let me say how much i loathe the dmv-oh my goodness-seriously can these people go any slower? So at the dmv I went to, you had to wait in line 3 times. First line was to get your paperwork looked at and given a ticket with your number, the next isnt really a line-but sit and wait til your number is called. Then I had this nice but slow guy at the booth i was called to.  He was nice, he corrected my file as i got the licence changed. I had brought my plate renewal form as 2nd id, well apperantly had my address on file as being a milwaukee address. It is a very common mistake with our address, but had i really lived in milwaukee, i would have to pay a "wheel tax" at the time of plate registration.wich would be an additional $10.  the third line was to get your photo taken and thusly given a new id. OM goodness-have i said lately how much i hate my DL image-my god can i be any fatter-ugh... So also tonight I finished my wedding book. It is one of those books were you jot down all your memories and fill in the questions asked. It was good to reminisce from the wedding.  I cant beleive it will be three years in may-so crazy how the time flys by. 

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So ok I know I have talked about weight alot lately, sorry but i plan to talk about it again...sigh.  So I really dont look or feel beautiful. I dont know what my problem is. I have always had a bad self image, but recently it has really hit me head on.  I haven't stepped on the scale in a month, I hate looking at the weight on the scale-sometimes I just wanna cry. It is to much for me to go on a diet. Diets always fail me. I seem to need someone to keep me accountable-but even then I dont always do well.  I need to loose weight, I know there is no magic pill-I just wish there was... sigh. I dont have the motivation or energy to go to the gym or excersize - never did.  I know that is a key to looseing weight, but I seem to be lacking motivation.  I feel I have always been watched or monitered on what I eat-even as a child. I think that is why I have issues with weight.  Arg- I guess that is my problem.
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So today I am going to do part of a goal. The goal was to do 50 creative writeing prompts. I cose #2. The prompt is: Pick out photo #14 and write about it for 10 minutes.  Ok so I chose photo #14 on my memory card.  It is of Kevin puting ice skates on at Eble ice rink in waukesha.  We were there to celebrate my neices 8th birthday. I had alot of fun taking pictures of everyone from the family that was ice skateing.  Kevin wanted to skate but was having problems with size of his skates, they were not tight enough for him.  But he did finally find the right size and was off raceing my mom and sister around the rink.  I had fun watching, as I do not ice skate-never was very good with my balance, I mean heck I didnt learn to ride my bike until I was like 10 because of balance!  So back to the party-after we skated for a while we all went to my sister and brother in laws house for some food and presents.We had some yummy pasta thing from an italian restaraunt and some salad. The cake was actually some really good chocolate cupcakes that my mom made. Wich I finally learned the secret recipie!! So my neice got lots of goodies for her birthday.  It was so sweet, my neice was so happy and said that she liked haveing the family parties better than the friend partys.  I actually do enjoy going to my sisters house for a party. I am able to talk to my brother in laws family -wich is always fun to talk to.  Ok so technically it wasnt ten minutes-but ah well I have come close!! 
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So today I am thankful for technology and the ability to annoy my hubby with constant FB and email checking! hehe!!

Also Todays Pic O day Is of my lovely Kitty Kaylee!!

I did IT!

So today I totally feel like it is another ho hum kinda day.  Yesterday and totay i feel as though i have a blog writein block-hmm. Nothing to rant or rave about today.  Those that have been following the blog should be happy for me! I got the guts and decided to make the appointment - Yeah!! So I will be seeing this lady at the end of the month-now i just gotta work on the list of questions to ask her! Also I did finish goal #1 for this month-well at least i shot the roll. Took it to walgreens, but had no customer service-i waited for 10 minutes then left. Going to try again tommorow-but at the same time kinda wanna try a better photo center.  I will scan and post on my flickr account when I get the photos back.  I also finished book #2 of 100 yesterday. The book was called Fireproof, Novelized by Eric Wilson. I gotta say I was somewhat bummed with the book. I saw the movie before reading the book, so as I read the book I was remembering different scenes from the movie.  The book follows the exact same layout as the movie. The book did come after the movie so that makes sence i guess.  It is a good book though-about marriage and about never leaving your partner in a fire.  Read the book or watch the movie-either way it is a good story told!  Last nite I started book #3, Find Me by Rosie Odonnell. I gotta say it is really jumpy-i like the basis of the story but the 20 or so pages read are really jumpy.   Ok so yesterdays pic o the day is of my lilac bushes that are currently in pots in my basement. We got them last year and have left them in pots cause i wanna transport them to our next plac-where ever & when ever that is! so we had them in the garage for a while-then moved em to the basement when it got real cold out. Anyhow-they must think it is spring or something! There are tons of green buds on the plant.  Todays Picture of the day is of my hubby cooking in the kitchen.  Today I am thankful that I got the guts to call the doc, and that I have a loveing husband who cooks for me when I dont feel like cooking! 

Its a ho Hum kinda day

So after yeasterdays rollercoaster of emotions, today has been a more stay at home and chill day.  I really slept in late today-kinda woke up in a grumpy mood. So today we had planned that we were going to go to a hard ware store for a basement light and to goodwill to donate some clothes and for me to shop. I relized that I really like shopping. I have shopped in previous years as a way to relax. Now mind you, I usually partake in window shopping and really dont buy much of anything. The last few years since I have been married I havent done as much shopping because money is tight.  So since we have been married i like to shop at goodwill for clothes and stuff. Yes the clothes are used, but still wearable.  And Kevin is totally ok with spending the Goodwill price compared to full price at a retail store.  So today I came home with four shirts for spring and three books, all for $20 bucks.  So then after we did that we went to hardware store-man do i hate going to them with my husband-ugh!! He seems to take forever in them. Other than those things I have pretty much been chilling at home. I started my herb garden seeds-yes i copied somebody-you know who you are.  So this week I hope to work on #1 shoot and develop a rol on SLR. I am partially done with this. I havent shot the whole roll yet. Thinking about going to a park or something and takeing pictures this week. Any ideas for places to go?? I also plan to work on #14. Today I researched what doctors were where. I prefer females so really out of two locale large hospitals there was only one female doc. And lo and behold she was also allowed on my insurance plan-so i will be calling the center for a consult appointment.  I want to start working on #17 starting tommorow. #17 is no soda for a month-this one will be hard. I have totally downsized the smount of soda that I used to drink, but it is nice to have a soda once in a while. Especially since we arent drinkers, so it is nice to have something other than water when i gather with friends.  I also really need to start working on #18 soon-and this week would be perfect! I am making a book for someones anniversary-no it isnt mine but cant name names incase they read the blog!  So gotta get cracking on that one!  Of course i will continue to work on #22-one pic a day for a year. I really want to work on #32, but i keep forgetting! I have a post it pad and a pen in my bag for this very reason! Lets hope the forgetting ends!! There are probably some other ones that i may work on this week, but those 6 should keep me busy!!  So todays Pic o the Day is of the stuff i bought at goodwill! I know-not that cool!  So today I am thankful for cheap books at goodwill and super bright lights in the basement!!

A post relateing to babys on the brain somewhat and jealousy

Ok so I dont exactly know what to title this blog.  Recently as stated i have had a bought of Babys on the brain (or botb for short). Botb comes and goes-sometimes certain things trigger it, sometimes I dont know what triggers it.  Well tonight we went to our good friends hose for a get together. At first I was gonna write how I totally feel out of place at these types of shingdigs because I really don relate to the wifes of the men that Kevin grew up with as friends and still are friends with. Hopefully that made sence.  But now I am gonna talk about botb.  So we go to their house, and we brought food over and everything was going really good.  Then while everyone is eating they announce that their having a baby-I congratulate them.  Dont get me wrong-I am very happy for them, they deserve it as much as anyone does.  But then I have to think about this topic in my head and keep quiet my comments like, "That's not fair, their younger than us" or "Thats not fair, they have only been married barley two years" It is so selfish of myself to think this, but I do.  I know the world is not fair-no need to inform me.  I guess I am at an age, that even though my hormones dont work the way they are supposed to, so motherly instinct is front and forward in my brain, gotta have kids, gotta have em now. UGH-I want kids, but it is just so unfair the work that we are going to have to put into a kid-were some couple can just do it the old fashioned way. Sorry for my rant-the Botb was a lot more in control and check before tonight, now I am just really jealous of others. Sorry friends who read this and judge-your not in our spacific shoes. 

Other than that tonight was alot of fun. We played apples to apples and then a game where you start with how ever many peices of paper as there are players, we had 10. So the owner of the paper stack writes a word or phrase, then they pass it to the left, they draw the word, the next writes what the drawing is, and this continues until it gets back to the owner. These were pretty hilarious tonight! The hilarity part was because most of the guys think as though they are still in HS.  So this week, I am gonna work on getting the guts up to work on the goal about calling the repro endo, finish reading book 2 for 100 books in 1001 days.  I plan to add a new goal to my list, I am thinking about it being for post crossing, but I am not sure.  Today, I am thankful for God, and his ability to control my extreme jeleousy tonight at a friends house.  I am also thankful for good friends, even though we dont all gather together alot.  So tonights two pictures are two of the games that we played earlier. They are what I was trying to discribe.   Sorry about the rant again, the botb really caught me off guard today. Off to sleep. Be warned-pictures are PG13 rated!!