Its a ho Hum kinda day

So after yeasterdays rollercoaster of emotions, today has been a more stay at home and chill day.  I really slept in late today-kinda woke up in a grumpy mood. So today we had planned that we were going to go to a hard ware store for a basement light and to goodwill to donate some clothes and for me to shop. I relized that I really like shopping. I have shopped in previous years as a way to relax. Now mind you, I usually partake in window shopping and really dont buy much of anything. The last few years since I have been married I havent done as much shopping because money is tight.  So since we have been married i like to shop at goodwill for clothes and stuff. Yes the clothes are used, but still wearable.  And Kevin is totally ok with spending the Goodwill price compared to full price at a retail store.  So today I came home with four shirts for spring and three books, all for $20 bucks.  So then after we did that we went to hardware store-man do i hate going to them with my husband-ugh!! He seems to take forever in them. Other than those things I have pretty much been chilling at home. I started my herb garden seeds-yes i copied somebody-you know who you are.  So this week I hope to work on #1 shoot and develop a rol on SLR. I am partially done with this. I havent shot the whole roll yet. Thinking about going to a park or something and takeing pictures this week. Any ideas for places to go?? I also plan to work on #14. Today I researched what doctors were where. I prefer females so really out of two locale large hospitals there was only one female doc. And lo and behold she was also allowed on my insurance plan-so i will be calling the center for a consult appointment.  I want to start working on #17 starting tommorow. #17 is no soda for a month-this one will be hard. I have totally downsized the smount of soda that I used to drink, but it is nice to have a soda once in a while. Especially since we arent drinkers, so it is nice to have something other than water when i gather with friends.  I also really need to start working on #18 soon-and this week would be perfect! I am making a book for someones anniversary-no it isnt mine but cant name names incase they read the blog!  So gotta get cracking on that one!  Of course i will continue to work on #22-one pic a day for a year. I really want to work on #32, but i keep forgetting! I have a post it pad and a pen in my bag for this very reason! Lets hope the forgetting ends!! There are probably some other ones that i may work on this week, but those 6 should keep me busy!!  So todays Pic o the Day is of the stuff i bought at goodwill! I know-not that cool!  So today I am thankful for cheap books at goodwill and super bright lights in the basement!!

A post relateing to babys on the brain somewhat and jealousy

Ok so I dont exactly know what to title this blog.  Recently as stated i have had a bought of Babys on the brain (or botb for short). Botb comes and goes-sometimes certain things trigger it, sometimes I dont know what triggers it.  Well tonight we went to our good friends hose for a get together. At first I was gonna write how I totally feel out of place at these types of shingdigs because I really don relate to the wifes of the men that Kevin grew up with as friends and still are friends with. Hopefully that made sence.  But now I am gonna talk about botb.  So we go to their house, and we brought food over and everything was going really good.  Then while everyone is eating they announce that their having a baby-I congratulate them.  Dont get me wrong-I am very happy for them, they deserve it as much as anyone does.  But then I have to think about this topic in my head and keep quiet my comments like, "That's not fair, their younger than us" or "Thats not fair, they have only been married barley two years" It is so selfish of myself to think this, but I do.  I know the world is not fair-no need to inform me.  I guess I am at an age, that even though my hormones dont work the way they are supposed to, so motherly instinct is front and forward in my brain, gotta have kids, gotta have em now. UGH-I want kids, but it is just so unfair the work that we are going to have to put into a kid-were some couple can just do it the old fashioned way. Sorry for my rant-the Botb was a lot more in control and check before tonight, now I am just really jealous of others. Sorry friends who read this and judge-your not in our spacific shoes. 

Other than that tonight was alot of fun. We played apples to apples and then a game where you start with how ever many peices of paper as there are players, we had 10. So the owner of the paper stack writes a word or phrase, then they pass it to the left, they draw the word, the next writes what the drawing is, and this continues until it gets back to the owner. These were pretty hilarious tonight! The hilarity part was because most of the guys think as though they are still in HS.  So this week, I am gonna work on getting the guts up to work on the goal about calling the repro endo, finish reading book 2 for 100 books in 1001 days.  I plan to add a new goal to my list, I am thinking about it being for post crossing, but I am not sure.  Today, I am thankful for God, and his ability to control my extreme jeleousy tonight at a friends house.  I am also thankful for good friends, even though we dont all gather together alot.  So tonights two pictures are two of the games that we played earlier. They are what I was trying to discribe.   Sorry about the rant again, the botb really caught me off guard today. Off to sleep. Be warned-pictures are PG13 rated!!

Babys on the Brain

So today is another non goal list topic-sorry!  Ok so Kevin and I call the days were you hear a song, or you see pictures or whatever that remind you of kids, and your wanting of kids-Baby on the Brain days. He seems to only have this for an hour or so and usually triggered by music-i usually have it for most of the day. I am not sure what exactly triggers mine-but none the less today is baby on the brain for me.  Those days suck in my mind. I usually get so anxious about why i believe i cant have a baby or concieve. Then I end up googleing plus size pregnant and i see all the warning signs and everything.  I really think my anxiety for doing one of the goals ( cant remember the number) about calling and making an appointment with a reproductive endocrinoligst is because I am so affraid of being turned down for services because of my weight. As I have stated before my weight causes me alot of stress and anxiety.  I really want to have children and have a family. Sometimes I say to my self, " Is it really worth it." And with that I mean-is it worth it for me to go throuh all this stress and anxiety just to bring a life into the world. It is hard-i have a negetive view on people who judge me by my weight-and usually doctors are the ones who cause me the most anxiety. I dont even want to call and schedule genetic testing like my endo said I should do. I am scared at the my chance of passing this all on to a child. I know how hard it was with my parents when I was born-and Im not sure that I want a kid that has to suffer with this illness.  Another thing about starting out fertility is I am really scarred at the weight I will gain.  I am currently at one of my higher weights, wich really irritats me. I know Kevin wants kids-I have been told by a few people that I'm not getting any younger-boy do i ever know that! I will be 30 in august-thats a whole different topic for a different day.  So along with the weight issues, If i were to get pregnant I think I would be happy but petrofied at the same time to tell my parents. I would be scarred because of the money issue and of caurse the weight issues. I guess I just really scared of each aspect of haveing a kid.  I really dont know any one in my specific place and alot of times I really feel alone. I feel alone on the baby front and on the weight front. I hate to talk again about weight, but it really irritates me. People will say-oh just do this or that more-Soo much more easier said than done. I even really feel alone on these topics within my marriage. Kevin knows my concerns-but he seems very non shalont (sp) about it. 

So on to other things. Tonight I am eating a new food again! woohoo!! They are called Larabar. It is a vegan unprocessed bar of fruit and nuts-I chose cinnamon roll-pretty good-not that great to use it as a granola bar everyday-but good enough for once in a while. It is 210cal, of wich 100 are fat cals-mostly from the nuts.Has some fiber-4g, but in my opinion a lot of sugar, but it is all fructos (sugar from fruit). The texture of the bar is slightly strange-it is like eating raisons-squishy like.  Ok so on to my picture of the day. This time again it comes from a picture I took a year ago on my SLR.  Also today I am happy that we were able to move our couches back in place last night! yeah!  I am thankful for being able to look at my faults in like and work on correcting them!   

Hmm the thoughts in my head!

So tonight i will not only share about my reaching/working on of goals but some other things on my mind pertaining to my faith and other things alon that line!  So I finished reading a book called Girl Meets God by Lauren F. Winner. It is hard for me to discribe the book, but the premise is a college age women who grew up jewish, converted to orthodox judaism, and then converts to christianity. The book takes you through a year in her life pretty much during her conversion to christianity. It is a really good read in my opinion.  So that brings me to my off goal list topic for tonight.  I have been stumbling with Christ lately-my fleshly wants have totally been taking over-wich is sin and I know it. I just really have a hard time getting back in the groove with Him and I guess i need to work on it. Kevin doesnt believe so that makes it hard. I really dont have him to turn to to pray with me or study the bible with.  But also even though I have strayed from Christ, I do hear his callings on my heart and my selfish flesh kicks me in the butt for what I am being called to do. I feel I am being called to follow 1 Cor 11:1-16.  Wich pretty much says that women are to wear a head covering when they pray or proficy. So this means church and private prayer time. The reason i feel my flesh is kickin my butt is because I am very nervous to do this even though Christ will be there with me. I would be the only one in church with a head covering, and I am sure I will be embarriesed. I need to pray this over more- but I am putting it in Christs hands-His will be done.    Ok so off of todays topic of faith, I have decided that for every goal I complete I can (but dont have to) add a new goal.  So today I am adding goal #102 Try 5 new foods. Ok so i guess i kinda cheated cause I tryed a new food today! yeah! I have been wanting for a while to try greek yogurt, I love the good ol american yogurt, I even love the austrailian creamy yogurt, but i do not think I like greek yogurt.  I had decided spure of the moment to go to sendiks by us-we really didnt need food, but i havent been to one, so i thought id check it out. First off-this store rocks! The items seem pricey though-so if we do shop there it will end up being for stuff i cant get at a regular store-like my Austrailian yogurt! :) So my goal is to check out all the organic stuff - and oh man do they have lots!  I was so tempted to buy some organic counter cleaner for $7, but then said to myself that my homemade vinager/water combo seems to work great.  So then I checked out the dairy case and was surprised and excited to see some non american yogurts-like the stuff you can find at a nutrishional store. I was so happy! so i bought two greek yogurts, one strawberry and one pineapple. I ate the pineapple tonight.  The best way to discribe it is like texture wise a mix between creamed cream cheese and sour cream.  It is a little sourer than the american yogurt, but the texture really through me for a loop.  The really good thing that this 6oz, 160 cal cup of yogurt has like 12g of protein-that is alot for a yogurt!  I may just get more of this kind of yogurt  because of the protein and just deal with the texture!  So greek yogurt at sendiks was $1.70 for the money pinchers, and my ultimate yogurt treat was $1.06 per cup. (wallaby is the brand of australian yogurt I love :) )    Ok so onto other goals, my picture of the day is a little wonky!!  I took a pic of my new shoes!  Now anyone that knows me knows that I am always wearing tennis shoes unless I have to dress up!  SO lately I have really been trying hard to find and inbetween shoe for my weird sized feet.  My feet are wide and tall if that makes sence!  I found these naturalizers the other day and LOVE them. They look great with jeans-wich is perfect since that is the other only thing i wear!!  Now just to find them in brown...hmmm...gotta hunt em down!!   Ok so tonights thankful item are the abilty to spend a day in a good book.  Ok photos to follow! Good night!    

Just another day in my life!

So today was surpriseingly good-yeah!! I saw the endo, didnt have to deal with any "your to fat, you need to loose weight" bullshit. I got the fastest blood draw EVER! For me that is a total struggle. I have inherited deep viens and also had cut downs as akid, so that all makes it doubly hard to find a vein.  Well this guy has drawn blood from me before-even remembers me from the last time! well today he tryed one spot then went to the one that he drew from last time-the wrist. I dont really like getting it drawn from the wrist cuz it hurts, but i will do whatever they need to so i can get out of there before an hour has elapsed!  The only not so good news is that my BP was high for me, and just in general. I am normally 110/70 or close to that. Today i was 140/70, wich i am pretty sure was do to anxiety. The dentist checked my bp last week at my appointment and it was in my normal range.  The other possible bad news is that I could have celiac disease.  If the blood test comes back possative then i could have to go to get an endoscopy done.  The reason the endo thinks that i might have it is because my bone density tests have been coming back really good the last two years, but my vitamin d level has not been improving like she hopes it to. We will see, I will put it in God's hands.  On other news, Kevin has started to put the baseboards up in the family room, wich means still no couch in there.  I cant wait until he finishes enough of the baseboards to move the couches back in.  So todays picture is a really cute on of my cats.  Kevin and I went camping last summer and we took the cats along. I also took my SLR along-man do i love that canon!  Anyhow, i recently got those rolls of film developed and saw an awesome picture of Allen, our boy cat.  Today I am thankful for fast blood draws and friendly doctor visits!!

Ugh-i am sucking at this daily blogging!!

Ok so today i realize i skipped a day or so of blogging!  Well I have been busy lately so that is my excuse! We had a family birthday on thursday night, friend over for tacos on friday, coworkers to dine with on saturday, and a simon family birthday dinner to go to on sunday-oh and early church on sunday! We were one busy couple!  So today I got to work on goal #78 - Bona the dang wood floor.  Ok the reason i hate to shine my wood floor with bona products is because to really clean then shine the floor we have to take everything out of the room-couches included!  We just dont move the tv stand with all the books and stuff in it, it would be to heavy to move.  The bona doesnt seem to make it great because we are totally rugged with our wood floor. The wood is just beyond out entrance door so it collects all this grit and grime and salt.  I must say it is better than it was-the floor that is!  Also yesterday I worked on # 92 - Go to five new restaraunts. Kevin's family was having a birthday dinner for hss grandma and grandpa-they both have birthdays in febuary.  We all gathered and ate at Fox & Hounds by Holy Hill. The food was great. I had a half duck, and Kevin had a steak.   So also today include the normal pic of the day wich is from my backyard.  We recently had a bit of snow and the branches of the trees looked really beautiful.  So today I am thankfull for extended family-they actually are pretty cool. Even extended family of your spouse. I am also thankful for my husband. He does so much for me -even the little unrecognized things.  I am also thankful for teaching books. Spacifically a book I am reading about a girls journey towards Godlyness. It reminds me of how I was as a christian and how I have become. I want to be that new christian with his whole heart and soul and body with Christ-instead of where I am today, putting Christ on a shelf for when I need him.   Ok so todays and yesterday pic o the day are a self portrait of Kevin and I, as well as a picture of the beautiful trees I was talking about! Also a pic of Kevin Bonaing the floor in the family room to prove we did it!!  So today I have also been feeling slightly moody. Last week I had a bad week and i just don understand why it had to turn so hostile. But this week I have my check up with my endo, and I am going alone this time.  I have recently gained about ten pounds that i lost over the last year or so.  I know this doctors routine pretty well from the 10+ years I have seen her.  Her main concern is my weight-have I gained? Have I lost?  I am always  so anxious about the appoinment. She knows I struggle with my weight and with weight loss, but still she is just so concerned with my weight.  She is concered with weight, but at the same time extremely slow at suggesting medication for weight loss. I wish she would just dispense the meds or shut up.  Every person is different, different weight at wich they are still healthy ect.  If she would look at my old charts she would see that i had a hard time as a kid loosing weight.  It is especially hard for me because I am constantly struggling with my weight and with thoughts about how my weight is so bad, and how I wish I was so and so because they are skinny. I have a bad self image and her herassing me about weight does not work.  Sorry bout the rant-I am just really anxious about tommorow.  Ok so here are the pics!

Day late and a dollar short!

Ok so i know i did not post yesterday-woops! i guess i got caught up in all the excitement of taco nite!hehe!!  So yesterday and today are the same old same old! The items I am thankful/happy about are - 1. I am happy that i have clean sheets on my bed. It feels so good to get into a bed that was recently made with clean sheets.  The other item I am thankful for are lifes little surprises! Today we went out with a coworker and wife of hubby. Had a great dinner and went to a movie. So the guy had bought flowers for his wife and me! it was so nice! It was just a general boquet with carnations and daisy type flowers-but it was so nice to receive!  Ok so todays Pic o the day is of me! yeah I know, you wont see many pics of me since i am the photo taker in this house!  The other photo is of the iceicle on the outside of the condo. 

Just another day!

So today started and ended pretty well. I woke up quite early and decided it would be great to see the sun rise. It was beautiful.  I also got to see the sunset-though not as good. I got to see it as we drove to my sisters birthday party-wich actually turned out pretty good.  So tonights picture is of my kitty Kaylee. She is leash trained-and i have been working with her to get her to walk with me-she did great today! she walked a little more than a quarter mile.  I am hoping to get her up to one mile. She is funny when she doesnt want to walk-she will pretend she is the biggest rock and not move at all!  There were a few times during the walk that she bucked the walking, but overall she did great after not walking with me for quit some time! The picture is of her taking a break on a pile of snow on the side of the road.   Today I am thankfull for the beautiful sun and all its warmth! It was so nice to see it shineing away! 

Wow I accomplished lots today!!

So i did actually accomplish more goals than just the photo a day and the thankful item.  I made kitty treats and i also bought a julia child book. I am changing #79 to read make all recipies from "The French Chef Cookbook" by Julia Child.  I couldnt find the book I wanted at either half price books or Barnes & Noble.  So i got the one i did find at BN that wasnt $50! Also as I said I did #75 make homemade treats for Kaylee & Allen.  Well the recipie I found was quite easy, my cats even liked the batter, but of course they wont touch the finished treat. I think if i blend it with their normal food they should eat it so it wont go to waste.  Ok so todays #53 is my dinner! lol! I was pretty proud of myself tonight! Tonight was the second time I have made gluten free fried chicken!! Yummo!! I also thawed a veggie mix. Todays item I am thankful for is true friends. Friends that are their when you just need to talk and them to listen. Friends that support you when nobody else does.  So enjoy the following pictures! I am sure you can figure out what is what!

 

#22

Redish Rose
Originally uploaded by Tstittleburg

Picture of the day. A rose from my valentines gift from hubby.

#67

So today I am thankful for my furry friends Kaylee & Allen. They are there when i have no one to turn to. They are there to play with when I am bored. I am also happy that I have such a caring husband. He does so much for me, and alot of it goes unthanked by me. Love that man!!

#22 Take on photo a day for 365 days & #53 Set up a Flikr account & #67 on thing i am happy about or thankful for daily

So here i am starting my 101 in 1001, and actually stating/completeing a goal or three!! So i did set up my flickr account. It was so easy since i had a yahoo account already. Then I took a photo and uploaded to my account. Check it out here... http://www.flickr.com/photos/21559896@N03/sets/72157623443405772/ So that is goal # 22 & # 53. I will do the first post for # 67 also tonight. Tonight I am really thankfull for my husband Kevin. We celebrated valentines day today and all i was expecting was a card, but he surprised me with a dozen red roses. I was so happy, it totally made my day. I was having such a bad day before he came home that it was really nice to be remembered / loved. So that is it for tonight!

101 in 1001

This is my list of 101 goals that i want to finish in 1001 days. I got inspired by seeing some peopls lists. The goal is to list 101 goals that are concreate-no ambiguity. Goals that you can acheive with a little work. It was started by a group on dayzeroproject.com. So here is my list in no spacifc order! I start 2-15-2010. End date is 11-12-2012. Completed Working On101 in 1001

1. Shoot & develop one roll of film from SLR per month (1/33)
2. Write a blog entry once a week (143)
3. Read 100 Books - at least 10 must be from the "50 Essential Reads By Contemporary Authors" List (0/100)
4. Be Under 200lbs
5. Enter & complete half marathon as a walker
6. Go to gym 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time (0/429)
7. Paint Guest BR
8. Sit down and review investments with WFA
9. Make/Buy A cusion for window Bench - Pillows as well
10. Have People from church over
11. Have a large picnic party (friends, family & extended family) - 6/19/2010
12. Paint Upstairs Bath room
13. Retile upstairs bath room
14. Make an appointment with a Repro Endo.
15. Drive from Milwaukee, WI to Cape Cod, Mass.
16. Go to 3 Broadway Touring Shows in MKE (0/3)
17. Go a month without consuming Diet or Regular Soda
18. Creat, Finish  get printed a digital scrapbook 6/5/2010
19. Eat Gluten free for one week.
20. Eat 5 Vegan meals (0/5)
21. Take a 100 photos of my city - Greenfield (0/100)
22. Take one photo a day for a year. May not include #1 or #21 in total. (17/365)
23. Go on at least one date night a month with Kevin (0/35)
24. Host Christmas at our house.
25. Create my own photo christmas cards on photoshop
26. Go Geocaching with Kevin
27. Run a 5k Race
28. Learn to make sushi - by reading a book or taking a class.
29. Memorize ten bible passages (0/10)
30. Write a will
31. Get a new joint checking account at associated bank
32. Post 100 Operation Beautiful Post Its (1/100)
33. Cut out refined flour and sugar for one week
34. Go to Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago - 5/8/2010
35. Go to Shedd Aquarium in Chicago - 5/9/2010
36. Go to Mall of America in Minnisota
37. Go visit people from old church in Exland,WI
38. Go see what my old college has become in Ladysmith, WI
39. Have our first child.
40. Knit something other than a scarf!
41. Invite my parents over once every other month (0/17)
42. Have Kevins mom over once every other month (0/17)
43. Take a cooking class with Kevin
44. Scan all of my paper photos
45. Organize and clean out closet in basement. - 5/22/2010
46. Clean and organize basement - 5/22/2010
47. Clean out & Organize Garage
48. Participate in one event for NaBloPoMo
49. Write one blog entry a day for one month. Corralates with NaBloPoMo (0/30)
50. Post 5 Secrets to PostSecret.com (0/5)
51. Go one month without eating out for any meal. Includes Fast Food & Sit Down.
52. Find and purchase pictures / artwork for living & dining room
53. Set up a flickr account and update it with pictures from this list.
54. Purchase Book from RI Short Story Club that has Grandmas stories in it
55. Create an Etsy Store
56. Sell something on etsy
57. Finish scanning all my parents paper photos - 4/30/2010
58. Join a book club
59. Join Crossroads womens group and go all weeks. Do not miss a date because of lazyness.
60. Reuse aldi bags and dont get any more plastic bags!!
61. Make or buy cloth shopping bags (0/5)
62. Buy produce locally at Farmers Market (0/5)
63. For one month keep track of what i eat and how i feel.
64. Host a Dinner Party with friends.
65. Plant a flower garden in memory of Grandma Ruth
66. Get address on Drivers Licence Changed
67. Write down one thing that makes me happy or that i am thankful for daily. Blog it! (17/1001)
68. Finish filling out wedding book - Done
69. Purchase or receive as gift final place setting for formal china
70. Buy loose tea from tea place in mayfair mall
71. Shop at a garage sale 10 times (5/10)
72. Figure out a house cleaning schedule
73. Stick to said schedule for 3 months (0/3)
74. Create a list of 150 Reasons why I love my husband
75. Learn to make homemade treats for Kaylee & Allen
76. Create a book of my favorite recipies
77. Cook 25 New Recipies
78. Bona the dang wood floor
79. Make all recipies in The French Chef Cookbook by Julia Child
80. Aquire said book
81. Keep a daily list of to dos for 1 month (0/30)
82. Complete a word find book
83. Complete a sudoku book
84. See a sunrise and a sunset in the same day (2/18/2010)
85. Learn to embroider
86. Complete 50 Creative Writing prompts http://creativewritingprompts.com/#
87. Sew the two buttons missing back onto kevins coat
88. Eat at least two servings of vegetables a day for a month (0/30)
89. Go on 4 camping trips
90. write and send "The Letter" - wrote an ajusted one. - 6/17/2010
91. Have neice & nephew over for a sleepover
92. Go to 5 New Restaraunts (Fox & Hounds)
93. Go to elegant farmer
94. Build or buy a wheelchair ramp for our house.
95. Read a book about nutrition
96. No chocolate or candy for 2 weeks
97. Get drapes or curtains for living room window
98. Go through yarn stash and declutter - 6/12/2010
99. Create and maintain a list of good workout songs on Ipod
100. Keep the family room clutter free for 1 month
101. Blog about my journey with each of these 101 goals!

Easier Ssid than Done

So last night i was talking to hubby about how i can get motivated to stick to an eating plan and stick to an excersize plan. He suggested that i just need to decide it and then think it to myself. Yeah way easier for a skinny guy to say this to someone who is fat and overweight their whole life. It is so frustrating to me, the fact that i can stick to a diet or eating plan for a day but then the next day i cheat or whatever and get mad at myself for doing it, then i think well if i did this today i guess i blew the whole diet out of the window. I am so angry with myself-and i guess with others that are close to me. I have always been on a diet of somekind-even as a kid, i was a fat baby too. Sometimes it is just so nice to take a day or in my case a month of not caring what you eat, not counting carbs, sugar, calories, whatever. My most recent time that i did this was on my trip with my hubby and parents-of course it ends up in weight gained-but it feels good to not follow a plan all the time. I guess my other problem is that i just cant get motivated to do it, i think it is partially due to being a lifelong dieter. Each program or at home food program i did it was always started with a parents suggestion i need to watch my weight, or we need to get you in this program to get you to loose weight. I have never lost weight just for myself- for my health or whatever goal i had. There are times i really want to start a diet and i have well intentioned goals but then either i cheat like i said or i just totally get unmotivated very shortly after. Every fat person knows what they have to do to loose weight-eat right and excersise. Well I think i got the eating right under control-well to some dgree! I just cant seem to ever get motivated to work out. I have a wii fit and i have a gym membership-both of wich are sitting idle-i dont have friends close to go to the gym with or anything like that. Hubby is stick thin (but he is getting a gut)and he has a very physical and active job so he doesnt feel he needs to work out, so it leaves me alone again. A friend has joined a marathon as a walker and says that her walking plan and the goal of the marathon are keeping her on track-i have debated doing the similar-probably walking a half marathon. But then again I am alone-training alone and doing the race alone-well with other people but no one i know. It is so frustrating. I really need to give it to God, and let him work out the details.

UUGH! Weight Gain

So I know i havent posted in a while but i finally am today!! I was so dissapointed tosay after steping on the scale, it went up as usual :( I suppose some of it is probably from eating out almost everymeal in aruba 2weeks ago, but i thought i was doing good. I went to lunch with a friend this past weekend and was told by her that i look good and what was i doing to loose weight, i said not anything different. Seriously i gotta get motivated, but i cant truely see forking out forty plus bucks a month on weight watchers or similar programs. I have tryed out sparkpeople.com and caloriecount.com they both have great resources, but i need the accountability. Seeing as i am shy i really havent met alot of people on either that jive with me so it is hard to be accountable to myself. I guess I am stressed about the weight, and always really have. But now that I am married and we are wanting to start a family I am getting even more stressed about the weight. Also the fact that i am currently unemployed makes my stress level higher. I guess I need to just relax and give it to God. But that is easier said than done.